So I shot the Brazilian a short e-mail. The innocuous type that invariably leads to the all familiar "Hey Stranger!" response. I really hate "Hey Stranger!" responses. They reek of flirtaciousness (after all, has any guy ever shot another guy friend a "Hey Stranger" text), yet they never fully evolve into "Hey Sexy!" They are the blue balls of opening line greetings.
After a few short catching up e-mails, she asked if I wanted to meet up... Really? She wants to meet up? Grab dinner? I'm not sure if she's aware, but we don't exactly live down the street from each other. I smell something rotten and odd. Like four day old Spicy Tuna Roll from Shop-Rite.
A younger Mikey would have been ecstatic at the opportunity to meet up with someone that got away. I'd be tearing open the giftpack of BRUTE cologne, shining up the Sketchers, buying the extra hold Suave mousse and waxing the old Firebird. But this isn't 1999. I've dated roughly 4,480 crazies since then, and I'm going into this with more than a modicum of wariness.
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YES BRUET cologne. Did it come from K-Mart or Wal-Mart. Gotta love it
ReplyDeleteBe afraid. Be very afraid.
ReplyDeleteDamn you "Hey Stranger!!!!!" and your lies!
ReplyDeleteSeems like she wants to end things friendly, but doesn't know what else to say. Forget about it.
ReplyDelete