Contestant Numero Tres?

I asked a girl to coffee the other night. Sounds nice, right? However, the reason I asked her to coffee and not the usual wine fest is because not many establishments would allow this girl to indulge in an adult beverage... being that she's 20 years old.
Time out - let me explain.

This is not any ordinary 20 year old. This girl - let's call her Nikki the Volunteer - is quite the mature cat. I met her at an orginaztion I volunteer with in NYC. Last year, this NYU freshman decided that she, too, wanted to hang out in dirty shelters while having kids yell at her all night long. (It's actually a great place with wonderful kids. I'd plug it but then I'd probably be bringing bad press to a good cause)

On the first day of our program Nikki stuttered into the housing project all sheepish - she had glasses, braces, a few extra pounds of Otis Spunkmeyer lunch cookies still lurking on her body from high school and a wardrobe straight out of Hannah Montana. Her job was to teach piano to a crowd of kids who I was leading in a chorus of  'To the WINDOWWWW, to the WALLL!!!' In a matter of an hour she had their full attention. When it comes to teaching you either have it or you don't - and she had it. I dig this.

Fast forward a year to last September. This time Nikki struts back into the shelter fresh from summer break at home, and I swear it played out like a kitschy teen movie. The braces were off, the baby fat gone, and long brown hooker boots were clickity-clacking on the floor. She went all Alyssa Milano post Who's the Boss on me, only if Alyssa Milano was 8 years younger than myself.

I sought the counsel of my friends and the advice was pretty much how one would expect. Before I could explain why I was actually interested in this girl, my male friends were referencing Quagmire  and hashing out elaborate scenarios.  I would be invited back to the dorms to funnel beers and coax her girlfriends into doing things seen only on the internet, all while trying to wake up for work the next morning and staying one step ahead of Chris Hansen and his camera crew. Of course this would all be chronicled in HD video for them all to see.

The ladies had a slightly different reaction. I believe the words 'Amber Alert' were mentioned a few times.

Listen, I know I'm at a completely different stage in life than her. I am looking to buy a condo and possibly change careers. I want to have a dog, and a yard - maybe even buy some furniture that doesn't have to be assembled out of a box (not that there's anything wrong with IKEA). On paper this is an awful idea, but I feel there's some type of mutual attraction here - so fuck it. I'm going for it. What do I have to lose - besides my ability to stand within 30 feet of minors...
Giggaty Giggaty!