Rolos

Nikki loves Rolos. Yes,  those little chocolate caramel nuggets that look like rabbit turds. They went the way of TAB soda and are pretty hard to find these days.  She once mentioned if I ever happen to come across them I WILL buy them for her. Well, last weekend at a Dirty Jersey rest stop (it was only fitting), I did come across some, and thought it would be a cute gesture if I brought her a bag. On the way home I decided to open them up and have a few to keep me awake, but that is beside the point.

Since asking Nikki out for coffee, I haven't really heard from her. She said she'd "hit me up" but nothing. I was taking it as a hint. My friends, however, say that since I am the man here, who also happens to be 8 years her senior, I should take things into my own hands and set something up with a definite date. They could be right, but I feel they're just holding on to the hopes of me winding up on a YouTube video.

Nevertheless, I took their advice and last week I brought the bag of Rolos with me to the shelter where we work. That's right, I was going too woo her with a half eaten bag of chocolate turds.  After playing a rousing game of musical freeze tag where I'm proud to say only three kids cried, we packed up for the night and headed out.  As we approached our point in Chinatown where she goes to the F train and I head back to hell - I mean Jersey - I reached for the Rolos. Suddenly this exchange went through my head:

"Hey little girl, you like Rolos?... Yeah??
Well I got some in my pocket! I also have some puppy dogs and Charleston Chews in my white unmarked van out back!... Come See!"

At this point, I rubbed my face just to make sure I didn't just spontaneously grow a mustache. I shoved the Rolos back in my pocket and stumbled with some equally awkward words about coffee this weekend. She seemed totally matter of fact in saying yes and that was that. Was it really that easy? I'd like to say yes. I texted later to let her know about the Rolos and she said hopefully we could eat them this weekend. Could she really be that chill? For the love of Jesus, Mary, Joseph and Cupid I'd like to say so.  But she owns a vagina. Those little bastards are tricky.  We shall see...