Contestant Numero Dos

I've yet to write about our newest contestant of the HelpMikeyFindaWifey gameshow. The reason being is I've had about four dates sort of materialize over the past month - yet not quite. Getting a girls number is only the first step of what truly should be a much easier arrangement. Actually securing the date is like playing a giant game of Plinko from The Price is Right. You drop your invite and cheer as it plunks it's way down to the middle "Saturday Night Date" column. Then, at the last moment when you think you've successfully avoided every pitfall, that little bastard disc makes a wrong turn and it lands in the "watching Love Actually with your Married Friends" column.  (The analogy can safely be used to describe the whole process of getting a girl from her living room to her bedroom also.) As far as I can tell though, the Plinko disc has safely landed in the middle, and I do indeed have a date tomorrow night - 14th street for some sushi and sake!

Sushi is the optimal first dinner date. Sure it's chic, quite tasty, and every city girl loves it, but the real reason it's ideal is because it's hard to spill any on yourself - and it wont make you gassy. If you go for Italian, some drop of Ragu is invariably going to find your shirt cuffs, while American food has a high probability of not sitting right in your stomach jeopardizing any post date action.  And, if you're thinking about finger foods on a first date, you are simply asking for trouble.

Additionally, the alcohol served at Japanese establishments is strong enough to power alternative fuel cell vehicles.  It definitely serves to ease the mood and make my jokes funnier. This always helps because I can never refrain from yelling the word SAKEEEEEE! like Mr. Myagi screamed BONZAI!!! in The Karate Kid. Some girls find this amusing - others, not so much.  It all depends on the Sake.

The woman to be met is a tall, cute lawyer from the city.  She seems incredibly sweet and funny. She also has shown me a certain link... to her blog... with a picture of her wearing an Obama t-shirt. I know what you're thinking - liberal mess! However, being someone who once created a"Mikey/Obama 08" t-shirt back in '04, I'm trying to avoid any unfair labels. She's going to have to attempt a third trimester abortion with a recycled earth friendly wooden hanger right at the dinner table before I pass that judgement. 

I've actually read most of her blog and it's doesn't cry self-indulgent. She simply serves to observe city life in quite a witty way.  Some excerpts:

There are two acceptable paths up or down any staircase; the right side or the left. Not the middle. Only take the middle if you would like me to think horribly bad things about the size of your ass.

What is with those clear-ish umbrellas that look like mini-domes? They seem so constricting. Just looking at them makes me claustrophobic. And why are they always carried by Asians?

See, not bad eh?  A little on the hater side, but kind of attractive if you ask me!

Of course, the most attractive part of her is that she wears glasses. Not just any glasses. The black thick librarian glasses that somehow made their way into every male's fantasy over the past 10 years. Im giddy with this prospect. I've seen my share of B rated movies. We all know how the story goes. In fact, I demand that as she enter the sushi restaurant she whip them off in one fell swoop of her head and untie her hair bun through the sheer power of her mind alone. The success of the date hinges on this moment. I am thoroughly excited.  Wish me luck!